Hello dear friends,
May is almost gone, and we thought we wouldn’t make it this month, but here we are, unbeatable! These weeks have been crazy. We entered the month immersed in the conclave performances as if it were Drag Race, and after one day, they gave us a new pope. We’re not even going to comment on the fact that Leo XIV is American. We just want to trust the Holy Spirit and pretend we don’t hate the US as a whole.
Keeping with the performance and drama, Bad Bunny finally decided to do a world tour with European dates. We cried and broke a sweat, but we WON the war against Ticketmaster. Ariadna got tickets for London, and Viki got tickets for Paris. We’ve never felt more wannabe latina (we still sadly, a hispanic only gang) in our lives. We are 100% ready to fight any Northern European at these concerts, we owe it to all our gente latino who didn’t get tickets and who deserve to see that concert.
To spice up the stress even more, Viki ended up with a thousand projects and concerts - the very thing she promised herself she’d avoid when she quit music. And most importantly, it was Ariadna’s birthday! This means it’s officially Gemini season, so go celebrate!
But the biggest, most camp event of the month has undoubtedly been the Eurovision Song Contest. Get comfy, because there’s a lot of tea to spill.
Disclaimer: yes, we boycotted Eurovision. No, that won’t stop us from commenting on the drama. #freepalestine
Melody: the diva we deserve
For all our non-Spanish readers: we’re so sorry you had a childhood without Melody. And no, we don’t mean melody as in the musical term, we mean Melody, THE DIVA. She represented Spain in Eurovision this year, and she’s the only person who can actually make us feel Spanish. Her name is literally Melodía (Spanish for “melody”) because she was born to sing.
Original video: here
When she was 10 years old, she became a pop star with her hit song “El baile del gorila”. We danced to it in the summer of 2001 and every summer after that, because it’s such a banger and frankly should be Spain’s national anthem. But, like many childhood stars, she eventually faded from the spotlight. She wasn’t much on TV, and while she released some music it wasn’t as popular. But now she’s made a major comeback with the song “Esa Diva”, which explains what a diva should be… and ends up revealing that (plot twist) the diva is, of course, her.
She’s been flooding our FYP ever since she won the Benidorm Fest and became the oficial representative of Spain in Eurovision. Since then, she’s been the queen of every photocall, TV program, and red carpet while promoting her Eurovision candidacy. She has done THE legwork to show the world how a real diva behaves, all while delivering the chorus of “Esa Diva” like her life depends on it. And quite literally, she couldn’t be stopped.
Original video: here
Then she’s been sparking joy with her English skills. Does she actually speak English? No. Does that stop her from communicating in English and connecting with international divas like Lady Gaga (aka la Lady)? Absolutely not.
Original video: here
Original video: here
She truly is the definition of a capital-D Diva. We love her, we want to be her, and we want to send her a big hug, because she was WRONGED in this farce of a festival. HER song was undeniable Eurovision material: it had the drama, the folklore, and the memes behind it. The entirety of Spain united because of it - and if you know anything about us, you know that’s a big deal. And yet we came in 24th? A fucking disgrace.
However we are proud, as a country, for being one of the very few to publicly speak up for the liberation of the Palestinian people. And for those who say the contest shouldn’t be political… maybe shut up? Everything is political. Because as Yuval says so perfectly in this TikTok:
“The only reason you afford to be apolitical is because of the privilege the political system in place provided you.”
If being the banger of a gymnastics classroom full of divas is not winning, then we don’t know what it is.
Original video: here
When we grow up, we want to be señoras
Following the latest TikTok of these amazing ladies dancing to “Esa Diva”, we’d like to introduce you to our new niche fave content: señoras - aka ladies (aged 50+ and fabulous) - doing things.
We’re talking lipstick-wearing, gossip-spreading, hip-shaking, tortilla-flipping icons of peace. Queens of the town square. Goddesses of the Tupperware set. The Señoras™.
(You don’t need subtitles to get the vibe of these cuties).
Original video: here
Is this even a content genre, you may ask? We believe it is. This month wasn’t about trends, challenges, or drama - it was about these ladies.
Original video: here
We love these TikToks because they remind us what life is really about: hanging out with our girlfriends, wearing cute outfits, gossiping, and being completely unbothered - you know they are an unstoppable force of nature.
Original video: here
Do you see them stressed about a job? Worried about a man? Dealing with family drama? No. They care about their girlfriends, their community and their diva status. These ladies are just vibing, and that’s exactly what we aspire to be when we grow up (and that is exactly la puta vibra iykyk).
Original video: here
And let’s be clear: this is not nostalgia - this is the future we want and deserve. We want to live and age like that. With our squad, no man in sight. These señoras are living proof that girlhood has no age, and that gives us hope. So here’s to the señoras (dancing or not)! We salute you and worship you.
Enlightenment or why a fried chicken breast is the best meal
We know it, you’re waiting for the enlightenment TikTok of the month. That one TikTok that completely shifts your perspective and opens your mind to something new.
Well, girls, I don’t know if you’re ready for this, but it might be one of the best we’ve ever posted in this newsletter. Put your spiritual caps on, because what Christian Rodriguez has to say is lifechanging:
Don't you find it really curious that a food as plain as a chicken breast, which is literally a 3/10, suddenly becomes the most delicious food on the planet once you bread it? And like… what if we’re out here losing our minds, going to the gym five days a week, getting cosmetic procedures, using tanning beds, self-tanners, and who knows what else, when maybe all we really need is to dip ourselves in breadcrumbs, flour, and egg, and call it a day? Just saying.
Original video: here
Chicken breast, in its natural form, is the physical embodiment of meh, forgettable. It’s dry, it’s boring, and yes, it might have protein, but does it spark joy? It is the equivalent of that one person who does nothing in a group project, or someone who judges you for wearing “too much colour”. And yet, a simple twist, some flour, egg and breadcrumbs and this shit becomes irresistible. It’s giving Michelin star, it’s giving joy, happiness, and euphoria.
All of this to say, what if we are the bread fried chicken breast? What if our true, most delicious, and most self-realised selves come out when we embrace a greasy coating? The cringe, the flavour, the joy? We are not saying you go do coke and become a nuisance, but maybe, you also don’t need another self-improvement goal or a productivity journal to be your most authentic self (we refute saying “best” self because what even is that?). Maybe all we need is to spiritually roll in the breadcrumbs and serve ourselves to the world on a silver platter, like the divas we know we can be. At the end of the day, a nice chicken breast is all good, but a fried one… she’s just memorable.
Admittedly we are really passionate with this metaphor, but we just fucking love a fried chicken breast. Looking back, this month’s newsletter felt very existential, very self-reflective of the diva inside us. What can we say? Mercury and Gemini season does bring something up inside us, and maybe you can relate.
The summer equinox is approaching, and it’s a good time to burn the name of your enemies in the fire and be free.
You go, diva!